A Tiny Testimony

Growing up I was a little "goodie goodie"  I also said I would be soo spiritual and my family would be "perfect."  We would have FHE every Monday night and go to church every Sunday and you get the picture.

We all know it is much easier said than done.  If you have come to my home I don't think any of my "lofty" goals are happening on a regular basis.  I have to say I really try to get my visiting teaching done every month.  I really enjoy going.  Some of my best friends have come from vt.  A few months ago the lesson was on scripture reading.  There was a quote in the article about how mothers needs to be "gospel powerhouses" 

uh-oh. . i try but i wouldn't say i am a powerhouse

We challenged our sisters to open the scriptures and become a "powerhouse", myself  included.  I started reading the Book of Mormon again.  I haven't read it cover to cover since... oh...like...10 years ago.

Friday night I was reading Alma 12 and a MEGA light bulb came on and I figured out a major principle.  I am a little embarrassed to admit that I just figured this out, but maybe someone else didn't know it either.  So here it goes.  

v. 12 And Amulek hath spoken plainly concerning death, and being raised from this mortality to a state of immortality, and being brought before the bar of God, to be judged according to our works.

after we die we will be brought to the judgement bar before God to be judged

v.13 Then if our hearts have been hardened, yea, if we have hardened our hearts against the word, insomuch that it has not been found in us, then will our state be awful, for then we shall be condemned

if our heart is hardened against God then we will condemned

v. 14 For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence.

we will have perfect recollection of every single naughty thing we thought, we said, and we did on this earth, our guilt will be so great that we will wish the rocks to fall on us and bury us

v.15 But this cannot be; we must come forth and stand before him in his glory, and in his power, and in his might, majesty, and dominion, and acknowledge to our everlasting shame that all his judgments are just; that he is just in all his works, and that he is merciful unto the children of men, and that he has all power to save every man that believeth on his name and bringeth forth fruit meet for repentance.

lucky for us through the atonement and because God is just and merciful he will see the intentions of our hearts and bring forth repentance

v.16 And now, behold, I say unto you then cometh death, even a second death, which is a spiritual death; then is a time that whosoever dieth in his sins, as to a temporal death, shall also die a spiritual death; yea, he shall die as to things pertaining unto righteousness

v.17 Then is the time when their torments shall be as a lake of fire and brimstone, whose flame ascendeth up forever and ever; and then is the time that they shall be chained down to an everlasting destruction, according to the power and captivity of Satan, he having subjected them according to his will.

v. 18 Then, I say unto you, they shall be as though there had been no redemption made; for they cannot be redeemed according to God's justice; and they cannot die, seeing there is no more corruption.

if we lived a life of sin on this earth when we get to the bar of God we will be cast to the "lake of fire and brimstone"...meaning that the guilt we will all feel as described in v. 15 will be forever with us.  it will never escape our minds and we will live forever in our sins.  there will have been no need for Jesus Christ for those people because at that point God can't redeem them.  they will live for eternity in their sins and guilt because there is no more death after this life.

here is what i learned:

first, wow! so i never want to have any unclean thought, deed, or word escape me.  i will get to feel the guilt for everything i did wrong all at once. i can't even imagine how awful i would feel

second, hell isn't a place, but a state of mind.  it is living with the constant thought of guilt.  it would be so awful you would feel like you mind was on fire.  the thoughts of guilt would never end.

third, the atonement is really the only way we will get to be rid of our sins. Christ paid for our sins and that makes me want to be a better person.

fourth, i want to be a better person because i don't want to have to stand before God covered in filthy guilt.  i need to strive to be better every day.  i know i can't be perfect, but i can certain put a little more effort into it.

fifth, i want to share the gospel with others, but i really want the members in my family who have lost their way to find Christ again.  i want them to be able to enter God's presence and live forever in peace and happiness.  they can come back and it isn't too late.

sixth, i see why every single person has to hear the word of God.  every single person needs a chance to be able to accept or decline this opportunity. it is strictly individual and we can't save any one but ourselves.