The Things My Child Says

My child never ceases to amaze me.  The older he gets the harder I laugh.  The last few days some particularly great things have come out of his mouth.  Here we go:

Scene 1: Walking down the steps to the car.
Mom: Grant do you want me to hold your hand?
Grant: No, I am tough.
Mom: I know you are tough but I don't want you to fall.
Grant: Mom I ate all my chicken last night.  I have strong muscles.  I don't need help.
Mom: Well, OK then.

Scene 2: We have just woken up and are sitting on the potty.
Mom: Grant are you getting excited about your birthday?
Grant: No, I don't want my birthday.
Mom: You don't want your birthday?
Grant: I want to be 1 on my birthday.  Then I will be a baby and I can wear diapers.  I don't like sitting on the potty.

Scene 3:  Previous day was nice weather and we went outside to play.  Today it is windy and cold.
Grant: I want to go outside and play basketball.
Mom: It is windy and cold outside.
Grant: Oh.  I don't like it windy I will just go downstairs and play.

Scene 4:  We are at a restaurant looking at the menu.  The waiter comes to our table.
Waiter: Hi, my name is John.  I will be taking care of you guys tonight.  Can I get you something to drink?
Kyle: I would like a diet Coke.
Waiter: Alright, and you?
Mom: I would just like water.
Waiter (to me): Anything for the little guy?
Grant (leaning over me): I want orange drink, chocolate milk, chicken, ketchup and french fries.
(Obviously we go out to eat too much.)