9-11: A New Meaning

Remember how a few months ago I mentioned something the happened, but I wasn't willing to talk about it.  Well, I am ready to talk about it.  I finally wrote this big awful event down in Celeste's Journal so I don't forget it.

It happened on September 11.  A day I was never going to forget.  An already emotionally charged day for a lot of people, and now very much a day I will really never forget for another reason.

Here you go:

My friend Melisa came over today.  I promised I would help her cut out material for a quilt.  She brought over her girls and Celeste was in heaven.  We started cutting and the girls were just playing in the toy room.

After a while I asked Auna if she could bring over her cutting tools so we could both cut.  Then we could get the fabric cut out a little faster.

Auna brought her tools over and stayed for a minute to talk.  Melisa’s husband had just found out he was getting laid off from his job and she was pretty upset.  The girls were playing on the stairs and the toy room.  We had our eye on them, but after a few minutes we realized Celeste was missing.  

I went upstairs thinking she was probably playing in the toilet or shut herself in a closet.  Melisa looked around downstairs.  Auna noticed my front door was open and went and checked outside.  

After a minute or two we still couldn’t find Celeste.  Auna came back in to see if we had found her.  She said she had looked in her yard, but was going to go over to the other neighbor’s yard.  

Melisa and I kept looking in the house.  Melisa asked me if I was starting to get worried and I said, “yes a little bit but I am sure she is around her somewhere.  I really doubt she is outside.”

Just then Auna came in the house holding a very dirty Celeste.  Auna was very upset and near tears.  She said when she went out to look for Celeste again a construction worker was coming down the alley way holding Celeste.  He wanted to know where her parents were.  He told Auna he has just found Celeste crawling around in the middle of McMillian Road.  Auna said she knew where Celeste belonged and thanked him for rescuing her.  

As Auna is telling me all this I become upset as well.  So many thoughts are going through my head.  There is a ditch right next to the road.  Celeste could have fallen in and drowned.  She was in the middle of the road.  What if a car hit her?  What if someone had just taken her?  

All day I hugged Celeste a little closer and said many prayers of gratitude for her safety.   I was grateful for Auna for being outside and finding her.  I felt horrible all day!  I felt like such a horrible parent and felt so much guilt.  I just felt so awful.  

When Kyle came home I didn’t want to retell the story, but I did.  I will be honest though, I thought he would have been less upset than he was.  I already felt guilty and he didn’t help my feelings.

Then as we are just finishing dinner there is a knock on the door.  There in full uniform is a local police woman.  She said she wanted to just make sure Celeste was ok.  But she gave me quite the interrogation.   She asked me lots of questions and made me retrace my steps.  She informed me that I could’ve been charged with a felony if it was her who had found Celeste.  I felt very vulnerable and almost attacked.  I began to cry and right then Celeste, who had been playing with the light switch on the stairs, falls down the stairs and I barely catch her.  I swear the officer was ready to arrest me right then and there.  

The officer eventually left, but boy was I distraught!  I was annoyed that Kyle didn’t stand up for me.  He just stood there in the kitchen watching the whole thing. I was upset with myself.  I was angry with Celeste for crawling away!  I was mad at the man who rescued Celeste for calling the cops.  

It took me a long time to calm down.  I ended up calling Melisa, Auna, and Erin and told them what happened.  After venting and after they each consoled me a little I felt a little better about things. 

I didn’t tell anyone else for about a week.  I am hoping that one day I will be able to laugh about this.